Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
