If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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