watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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