Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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