Dual....:-)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
