I want to have your abortion
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize