ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
