Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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