I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
