Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
