Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize