Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
