I cannot find my penis.
it was like eating out sand paper
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
