theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
