Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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