just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
