Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
