I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
