either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
