I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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