I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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