You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
