I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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