are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
