me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Iām making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
