Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize