Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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