This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
