girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
