next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
