I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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