How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
