you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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