Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
