it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
