i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
