would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
