best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
