he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
