I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
