connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
