Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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