he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
