the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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