I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my poor anus
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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