i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
