Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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