based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
