ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
