Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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