i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
