At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
