She said her name was "party"
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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